Queer Platonic Relationships: Signs You’re In One

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A queer platonic relationship is one of the strongest emotional bonds one can form with another person. Before we get into the gist of the article and let you in on some of the signs to look out for if you think you’re in this kind of relationship, let’s first define it. 

So, what is a queer platonic relationship?

Simply put, it’s an intense and intimate relationship that doesn’t have the typical traits of either a romantic relationship or a friendship. While queer platonic (or quasi platonic) relationships are asexual, they go beyond the simple meaning of being, ‘just friends’. 

In addition, if ever there was the possibility or presence of sensual or sexual tension in a quasi platonic relationship, none of the partners would act on the feeling because it wouldn’t feel right. These relationships aren’t bound by any boundaries and are pure and spontaneous. 

Here’s how to tell if you’re in a queer platonic relationship.

You’re ALWAYS excited about spending time with your partner
This is most likely the first sign that you’re in a queer platonic relationship. There’s no one time that you never want to spend time with the other person and you’re always saying yes to the plans they suggest. You know that spending time with them is so worth it and you are excited to see them. Because a quasi platonic relationship is a special bond, you can and will cancel any plans you had just to see the person you like.

You share a lot (if not all) of yourself with them
When you’re with the person you like, thoughts of having a romantic partner fly out the window and you share your darkest fears and deepest thoughts with them because it feels like the right thing to do. You know you’ve found your soul mate even if there’s no romance involved.

They “get you” more than anyone else could
There’s never an uncomfortable silence between the two of you because you share so many interests. The only thing is, even after spending hours together talking, once you leave each other, you may just remember something you forgot to say.

There’s a small doze of jealousy at the mention of another friend
Just like other relationships, a third wheel in a queer platonic relationship is a painful concept. However, it’s not the idea of the person you like having other friends that’s painful; you just don’t want them to make conversation about their other friends while you’re present. You feel all sorts of special when you’re with your partner and the thought of them mentioning someone else spoils the broth for you. However, the feeling isn’t lost on you, they feel the same way too.


While other people voice their opinions about the relationship you have with the person you like, you both know that it’s special and pure. They make you feel complete and brighten up your world in a non-romantic way. Whatever suspicions other people may have of you doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you keep this special bond going.

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