We’ve previously discussed what you should do when you have a crush on your best (and straight) friend. But, what do you do when the situation is different? If you’re gay and the best friend in question is also gay, there may be a little hope in the possibility of something beautiful developing.
When you’re gay, and you’ve got a gay best friend of the same gender, you’re likely to fall into a situation known as “dateless dating.” This means that you are always there for each other when a void needs to be filled. Whether it’s going to movies or having dinners together, this is the signal of a healthy relationship with your best friend.
While romance may not play any part in the relationship, either of you might develop feelings for the other. If you’re in this situation before you automatically assume that your gay best friend will be open to reciprocating your feelings, you have to consider whether they’re already in a relationship and, if not, whether the feelings are mutual and if they would consider exploring the idea of a relationship with you.
Your Best Friend Is In A Relationship
If your best friend is already in a relationship, then you should be very careful about how you intend to resolve the issue. If they are happy and committed, you should probably keep off, take some time from the friendship and resolve your feelings.
We’re not saying you should ignore what you’re feeling. We’re saying that rather than trying to make things uncomfortable or complicated and risking a negative reaction since your best friend is already happy and settled in their relationship, give yourself time and try to distract yourself until you’ve resolved how you feel.
Your Best Friend Isn’t In A Relationship
If your gay best friend that you have a crush on isn’t in a relationship, then you should probably talk to them about the feelings you have for them. Now, this could go multiple ways. It’s possible your friend has friend-zoned you and isn’t thinking of the possibility of a relationship with you.
Even so, you should go ahead and talk to them. If they don’t respond positively to what you have to tell them, there are two ways it could go. First, they could shut down and ask you to give you time to process what you’ve just told them. They could also straight up tell you that they aren’t interested in pursuing more than a friendship with you, OR they could be open to reciprocating your feelings.
If the reaction isn’t positive after you tell them how you feel, you have to be prepared for a possible friendship loss. Either way, it turns out, you have to be ready for the outcome.
If your best friend considers the possibility of a relationship with you, you have to think about the future. What if the relationship doesn’t work out as you intend? Will both of you be able to move past a failed intimate relationship and preserve the friendship that you previously had?
We love who we love. But, confessing your feelings of a more profound love for your best friend of the same sexual orientation as you can be a little intimidating. Having said this, there isn’t a right or wrong way of handling a situation like this. It all depends on the parties involved and what would be best for the friendship.